Poor Billy

Bill Clinton is stumping for Democrats across the country because smart candidates are staying as far away from Obama as possible.
Bill is used to playing to packed houses of obliviots who worship the effluent that flows from his every orifice.
It must have been quite the let-down when he went into a school gym that could hold 1500 people, only to find about 500 waiting for him to speak.

Bill Clinton lost nuclear codes

While in office as President, Bill Clinton was responsible for many things.
One of the more important things was the "biscuit".
The biscuit is a plastic card that has the current codes required for the President to authorize the use of nuclear weapons.
When the codes change, the military officer carrying the "football" (a briefcase device used to control nuclear weapons release) asks for the old biscuit in order to swap them out.
When the officer asked Bill for the codes one time in 1998, he claimed the card was upstairs in the White House.
A search could not locate the card.
It had been misplaced for a while.

I guess being able to follow simple instructions, be responsible, and protect us from a nuclear strike pale in comparison to dealing with political scandals.